Ever wonder who attends social media networking events? Be prepared to meet some denizens of these events.
Drink and notebook in hand (a highly recommended combination), we attended our first such meet-up. Who accosted us along the way may or may not surprise you. They are—well, let’s call them iconic. Can you think of any others to add to our list?
Paula, the Poser
The Social Media Poser thinks she knows everything about social media, but all she does is quote Shel Holtz’s blog. Great source; it’s too bad she doesn’t understand what Shel’s talking about. She tries, though. Ohh, how she tries. It’s excruciating. So, what’s your cue to say goodbye? When she says: “My ROI really blew up yesterday!” Exit, stage left.
Josh, the Job Hunter
You’re bound to meet someone at a networking event who is looking for a social media job. Actually, these days you’re bound to meet dozens. You exchange cards, shake hands and say you’ll be in touch if you hear anything. But when you scope out his blog, you know why this Job Seeker is still seeking. Josh’s post about being arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct (complete with Flip video!) was riveting, but you’re not sure you want to recommend him—unless, of course, you hear that Snooki is looking for a new publicist.
Adelaide, the Addict
The Addict introduces her iPad to you first, before telling you what her own name is. You’ll find Adelaide hanging around the buffet line and posting pictures of the hors d'oeuvres to her 11 Twitter followers (one is her mom). Trying to be social, she asks you to play a drinking game she calls “SEO.” But don’t fall for it. Before you know it, she’ll tag you in Facebook Places—and the next thing you know, you’re BFFs. Run for it.
Cyril, the Social Media-phobic CEO
Most likely, you’ll run into a chief exec who is too scared to tweet—or even email. We just don’t want to lose control of the company’s message, he’ll say. Attending a social networking night is a big step for him, but don’t bother trying to explain what Foursquare is. If you do, he’ll regale you with stories about how he dominated the game during sixth-grade recess. And don’t even get him started on Kick-the-Can.
Sophie, the Scolder
Some might confuse the Social Media Scolder with the Social Media Evangelist, but make no mistake—ol' Sophie is angrier and infinitely more manipulative. But unlike the Evangelist, she doesn’t want to gently convert you. Instead, the Scolder is like that girl in junior high who shamed you into drinking the “Kool-Aid” (replete with grain alcohol.) When you reach for your non-smart phone to look at the time, she smirks and asks, “What are you? Like, Amish?” But don’t take her digs personally. She talks about her Facebook friends as if they were “real” friends. (Sssshhhh.) Gee, where did my BFF Adelaide go?
Jessica Levco is co-editor of Health Care Communication News. This story first appeared on Ragan.com.